Amazing Race: Unfinished Business ep04: This is the most stupid day…

Amazing Race is back and the contestants are departing from Japan to Jade Dragon Mountain in Lijiang, China. Justin says Zev has had a few “rocking chair legs” just sitting in the back seat of the car. Pisha and Jen are having flashbacks to their last time in China with the calling Luke a bitch incident, but not the pissing incident? All teams are on the same flight to due limited flight options. Kent and Vyxsinxysyson’s PMA idea (positive mental attitude) lasted about 5 minutes. Vixchhssoson is in a panic having a rocking chair meltdown, they’ve gone hours in the complete wrong direction and miss the one flight! Goths get on a alternate flight a few hours later.

In China now, Christina and Ron are using their Chinese language skills to get on a train right away but everyone else save the Goths are on a train too a few hours later. Crazy Ron stops for some dumplings on the way to the clue box. Ron is batshit crazy and I’m loving it. Meanwhile Vychssohxxosson forgets her passport on a ticket counter, but she recovers it. Over at Jade Dragon Mountain, all the teams are on the same shuttle bus- another equalizer putting all the teams together.

Ron is hurting from eating those sticky buns. Ron you know you have to wait 30 minutes before exercising. All teams have to saddle up a yak and then ride up a small stepped waterfall. Cowboys are in their element on this one. Tuns out to not be a real challenge at all as the yaks are guided. In an appropriately Chinese style leg, it all seems very controlled.

All teams now take a nearby gondola up the mountain. The altitude is killing all the teams’ energy. The challenge is to search for Zodiac charms amoungst thousands- finally it’s an actual race. One of the cowboys is trying to get tourists to help him out by mimicking a chicken (scarily well). Meanwhile the Goths are on the yaks now, almost caught up. Mallory and Gallory leave first, followed by Luke and Momgie. Zev is hysterically funny lagging behind all in his Elmer Fudd hat hunting for the final wabbit charm.

Pisha and Jen make it through without a bathroom break. Cowboys see Kent and Vixhccsdson on the way up/down the gondolas and ohh my gravy the race is on. Ron and Christina take a golf cart instead of a bus, their Chinese skills are of no consequence this leg. Awesome Ron is now pissssssssed the hell off and Christina jumps off the tram onto her back, then crazy Ron throws a rock at the bus!!!!!!!!!! The Globetrotters, always the good guys, stop their bus for them. Unfortunately neither of them knows their Zodiac sign for the next part of the challenge and almost every team passes them while they try all the combinations.

At the Detour teams need to either hammer candy till it’s flat or pick up a giant riiiiiiicooooola horn and parade to a palace. Crazy Ron wants to stop for live fish or yogurt….lolololRon. He’s having a Jerry Stiller on Seinfeld moment and it’s nutso.

Most teams opt for hammer time. Crazy Ron can’t help himself, he didn’t get his live fish so he takes a bite of the candy! Back at the charm challenge Vixhcchchsdson is having yet another meltdown. Candy pounding teams all finish quickly and have to head to a tower on top of a hill in town. Not a whole lot on this leg to separate the teams. Hungry Ron can’t stop eating that candy.

Luke and Momgie Margie make it the pitstop first and win a Travelocity trip to Aruba. BUT they’re still racing, as the well produced montage shows us… uh oh. For the official record here, this the second continuation in three episodes- I’m sensing a pattern. And Vixsin and Kent have now lost their fannypack (on the gondola as we see in the spotlit flashback). They are having the worst luck and then oooooooooooohhhhhh shiiiit TO BE CONTINUED. Cliffhanger! arrgh. I love/hate this show. Is it next week yet?

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