Amazing Race: Unfinished Business ep09: We’re Good American People

Teams are still in Salzberg, Austria at the Villa Trapp from the Sound of Music. Zev and Justin get to check out their (admittedly sweet) 2012 Ford Focus’s they won last week. Nice Focii. Teams are heading to Liechtenstein for their next clue via train. There’s a double U-turn this leg!

Cowboys are a bit outcast, worried that nobody wants to get all Brokeback Mountain with them or something. Teams are on the train for 36 hours before heading to the border crossing, edited down to 25 seconds. Zev and Justin’s cab driver asks if they are terrorists- lol. That would explain a lot. (I don’t know what that means either).

Teams have to use an electric bicycle and a map to measure the length of Liechtenstein, 22km for those scoring at home. Gary and Mallory get stuck with the speed bump and have to mix gas and oil in a specific percentage. Unfortunately Gallory is dumb as rocks and can’t figure it out but they seem to get it after a minute or two.

All teams seem to be having trouble following the map. And Jen dropped hers along the way anyway (wisely not choosing the bladder challenged Pisha Kisha to do this roadblock). Getting lost will definitely screw up your measurements. Justin arrives first and it seems like mapless Jen hears his measurement and copies him- correctly. Jet gets it wrong and has to cowboy up back to the beginning.

Teams that finished the bicycle part have to go to Gutenberg castle (any relation to Steve?) and then the train station to catch a train across the Alps to Switzerland. Zev and Justin help out Flight Time and give him the measurement, who shares it with Gary. I know they’re just trying to be good guys but FT is totally oversharing information- it’s a competition buddy. Zev and Justin and the sisters are on the first train. Goths, Gallory and Globes on the second train with Brokeback on the third well behind.

Teams have to do a Swiss style Detour, Cheese or Wheeze, either sharing a pot of fondue or delivering luggage to 5 different hotels. Jen and Pisha try the cheese and then switch over to the luggage instead. Zev and Justin are sticking it out with the cheese. The whole second group of teams chooses the luggage.

The Globetrotters put all 20 pieces in one shot, which should save them some (flight) time. Kent is bitching again after bitching earlier that he’s been bitching too much in general. Justin steps out to puke up a pound of cheese mid-way through. They are 35 minutes into eating cheese when they see Pisha and Jen walk by, now 41 minutes in and Cowboy are in town. Finally at almost an hour in of straight up liquid cheese devastation they finish and are first to head to Brunnen where the double u-turn is ahead.

Brokeback is hustling like 1978 Pete Rose to get those bags delivered. Zev and Justin take the electric taxi to the top of the hill and finish first, winning a Travelocity trip for 2 to Curacao. Pisha and Jen make it without a bathroom break and are team number two. Kent is such a wuss, he can’t run anymore so he gets in the luggage cart and Vixyxyxsin pulls him. Globetrotters have lost two luggage tags and have to deliver more bags, slowing them down- uh oh.

Kent and Vyxsin make it third, Gallory fourth. Nobody has used the U-Turn yet, whichever of Brokeback or Trotters reaches it first will have to use it. It’s (probably not that close but the producers make it seem like) a footrace and the Globes make it to the U-Turn first and u-turn the cowboys. Now they have to go eat some cheese. Thank goodness we the viewers don’t have to witness the cowboys eating mass quantities of cheese as they reach the finish line last and are eliminated from the race. Oh my gravy.

Honestly I used to be a huge Jet and Cord fan but the last few episodes they’ve kinda worn out their cowboy welcome so I’m ok with them going. On the plus side for them, after eating all that cheese they can make it the whole flight home without having to use the airplane’s bathroom. Just looking at the positive side boys. Nice race.

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