Big Brother 13: 08.04.2011

Big Brother eviction night with Bukie Brendan and Jordan on the block. Daniele is happy as hell about that, she’s pretty confident that Bukie’s going. Oh no crying Rachel in the diary room- please no more crying. Bukie make it stop.

People do not want to deal with Rachel if Bukie’s gone. I don’t want to deal with her either way. Shelly, Adametallica and Porsche Cayenne are the 3 swing votes. Shelly might be playing both sides right now. Adam could go either way too.

Porsche has some sort of hooded backless halter top on that’s totally distracting me; what is that? Now Rachel’s crying because she caught Porsche talking to Daniele. Porsche calls her out on the annoying crying thing, which causes her to lose it more. What a crybaby. Seriously- this is Big Brother, not 6 year old sister. Get a grip Rachel.

OMG Now Rachel’s having a total pity party for herself in the hammock and unfortunately all of America is invited; I’m going to throw up. Can we switch the veto vote to put Rachel up instead. Now Bukie’s crying. Oh jeez. Please make it stop.

Time for the Big Brother live eviction ceremony, hopefully Julie Chen won’t induce Bukie or Rachel to tears. Evel Dick is getting his own little Daniele analyzing segment now- cue up the E.D. music. He says she’s playing a bad game. Highlight package of their teamwork from Season 8. He says she’s playing the same game she played in 8. Dick thinks she tried to break up the couples way too early; she was sitting pretty but now she’s deep in it.

Pre-vote speeches now, Bukie says he won’t cry- thanks Brendan. Here’s the votes; Jeff votes for Brendan to go, crying Rachel votes for Jordan, Kalia for Brendan, Elf Adam votes for Brendan, Porsche votes for Jordan, Lawon for Brendan and Shelly puts the last nail in Brendan’s Big Brother coffin. Bye bye Bukie!

Julie gathers the houseguests in the living room to announce the latest twist. She says the next houseguest evicted will have a chance to get back into the game. Woah- one of the first four evictees who is voted on by America will battle next week’s evictee to re-enter the house. You know, pretty much the exact same twist as Survivor last year. Hmm.

HOH competition time. It’s a giant chess board. It’s trivia based on the first three evicted houseguests; apparently the chessboard has nothing to do with anything. Jordan and Kalia battle and Kalia wins on a total guess before Julie even finishes the question. Lawon loses out to Rachel. Kalia faces Adam and beats him. Rachel curses on live TV and loses out to Porsche. Jeff battles Shelly next and loses. It’s down to Kalia, Porsche and Shelly. Porsche is out. Shelly vs. Kalia for the finale and Kalia wins HOH! Ruh roh Shaggy!

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