Celebrity Apprentice 2011 Ep08: Bitter Suites

Despite the win, NeNe is terribly upset at LaToya as the ladies congratulate the men for ousting Gary Busey. There’s nothing to congratulate however since they should have dropped crazy Gary weeks ago- what took them so long? Hope presents her winning check to Best Buddies and gets more screen time than she had even as project manager. She can talk! She’s tall!

The Donald and the entire Trump clan give the challenge which is to create a four page ad campaign for the Trump Hotel Collection. At this rate I wouldn’t be surprised if Baron Trump doesn’t make an appearance soon.

John Rich is the project manager for the men despite his lack of expertise in the luxury hotel area. 3 big music stars and none of them know shit about luxury hotels? Really Meat Loaf? Star Jones is heading up the project for ASAP. The pressure is on because it’s Trump’s company- it’s personal.

Ivanka and the other executive for this task tell the remaining contestants that they are looking for something different than the generic luxury hotel ads you typically see. Star comes up with the slogan “Individual elegance, collective luxury”. LaToya thinks it blows but she’s going along with it because she implies that Star’s a total maniacal bitch who sets everyone else up to be blamed if there’s a failure of any sort. Which is true.

Backbone is down to just Lil Jon, John Rich and Meat Loaf which makes them pretty undermanned for the task. Insert your own short joke here, readers. Men are going with “live the life” as their slogan everywhere. Meat Loaf has a Busey-esque idea about a mirror that John Rich sorta shoots down because he has no idea what he’s talking about. Me neither. Meat take his meds yet? The men have a long winded ad copy that troubles Eric Trump when he visits. Eric is the forgotten Trump, nice to see him get some air time this year.

Star sends LaToya and NeNe to work together and NeNe strongly objects to working with “fake” women. They have a bit of a blowout as they go over the last boardroom. They make up and hug and all is forgiven it seems. Now they’re all good to go run errands together.

The ladies get ready for their photoshoot, and they’re loving it, getting Ivanka jewelry, manicures, hair and makeup. Are they too into getting themselves done up? They are concentrating heavily on the photoshoot. Don Jr. comes in and says he wants to come back when they’re doing the “Playmate Hope in the bathtub” shoot. Join the crowd Don Jr., join the crowd.

The men are more serious and business oriented, working out some nice verbiage for the ad. That’s right I said verbiage. Meat Loaf is handling the photoshoot but it looks like he’s shooting exactly what the executives said not to- a service shot. John Rich can’t use the shot since the butler’s not smiling- ends up just doing a headless mid-section shot. The men are double and triple checking their spelling which probably means they spelled some crap wrong.

The women are pressed for time to start their daylight shots. NeNe is going off on Star telling her not to bud in on her shots of Hope in the bathroom (note: Don Jr note in sight). All the ladies but Hope are getting in the restaurant shot to show off the luxury lifestyle.

The men go to do their presentation. They are using their personal experience staying in the Trump hotel during the Celebrity Apprentice during their pitch. They are being judged by the COO of Trump Hotel Collection and James Oseland, editor in chief of Saveur who seems to be on every other show as a judge (well Top Chef anyway). Now the ladies are going and their presentation just seems to be them spouting off a shitload of adjectives one at a time. I’m bored. Can I buy a noun ladies?

James calls the ladies’ print ads similar to sleazy strip clubs flyers you get on your windshield. Plus Hope has a towel on in the bathtub and an unopened bottle of champagne and a full glass. The COO calls their presentation cringeworthy- like a jack in the box. The men’s print ad has a misspelling and too many words but their presentation was great. Unfortunately they did not include a phone number or website in their copy.

The judges tell Trump that both kinda sucked and there’s no winner, only a loser and a worse loser. At the Boardroom, NeNe says a bunch of the girls are “crawling up Star’s ass”, The Donald gets way too deeply literal in the followup questions to that one- seriously Trump, think about the people that like to eat while they watch TV before you speak stuff like that. Well I guess my diet starts tonight- thanks for the boost Donald.

Don Jr. has to read the negative points of the women’s campaign because it’s so long- normally he memorizes them. Show off. But maybe you could teach your father a lesson since he has a particular “talent” for reading off those cue cards. Trump says the executives thought the women’s was worse and the losing team this week. Star is bring NeNe and LaToya back to the boardroom. LaToya is sent packing, as she probably should have been weeks ago.

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