Real Housewives of Atlanta: S04E02: Surprisingly Rich

NeNe, Kandi and Cynthia are in a van heading to Miami Beach courtesy of NeNe. Girls weekend, starts off with a cocktail at some upscale hotel. Both NeNe and Kandi are on the hunt for a man. This could be trouble.

Kim’s house now and Kim’s still in bed. At least she’s not barking orders……yet. Kroy and Sweetie are planning a surprise birthday party for her. Kroy calls Kim “denting on the wallet” lol. We call that “gold digging” here.

Phaedra is back at the funeral parlor, talking business with her funeral home director friend. Phaedra wants to pursue the mortuary science industry; she wants to open a funeral home. She checks out the caskets and the business, namedrops Coretta Scott King, typical day in the fabulous life of Phaedra.

Back in Miami, Kandi calls out NeNe for saying she’s rich. NeNe says I am rich, bitch. And I told Sheree that shit too. Kandi says whatever- new money bragging about your money, nobody cares. NeNe is talking crap about Sheree and Kim to Cynthia and Kandi. Coincidentally they are in town during Lesbian Pride Week, lots of girls in the area.

Sheree is back in Atlanta taking her son Kairo out to buy some sports equipment. He’s 14 now, where the hell has he been on the show? Sheree wishes her ex-husband was more involved with his life.

NeNe is checking out a property in Miami. It’s 9 million dollars. Repeat. 9 million dollars. NeNe has 9 fucking million dollars? What. the. fuck. We know you were on Celebrity Apprentice but seriously? Kandi doesn’t think she’s ready to spend that kind of cash on a house.

Kandi, NeNe, and Cynthia his the beach and pick up a few weird looking foreign men playing frisbee. Kandi says she might dip her feet into the ladypond, but just for fun. How about dipping those massive thighs into the gym, girl?

Kim and Sheree are out to eat at a restaurant. Kim says she hasn’t spoken to NeNe in like 10 months. Smart move Kim. Kim says she’s going off on all those A List people in Celebrity Apprentice too. Sheree says she better check herself, this Trump thing has gone to her head. Kim says she could see herself with Kroy for the rest of her life. Kim says we took our relationship real slow…except for getting pregnant like 3 months in.

Phaedra and Apollo are taking their adorable son out for a walk in the stroller. Phaedra talks to him about the funeral business plan. She wants to open the Saks 5th Avenue of funeral homes. Apollo is not really into the funeral thing too much. He does asset relocation and recovery whatever the hell that is. He doesn’t really seem interested in any of the positions in the funeral home that Phaedra mentions (hmmm I wonder why- embalmer?!).

It’s the day of Kim’s surprise party and Kroy’s got it all planned and she has no idea. Probably because she’s super self absorbed, but we’ll give Kroy the credit here instead. Kim’s super pregnant, peeing a lot and moving really slow. As soon as they leave, the party planners arrive. The ladies call to say they’re on their way. The Chanel bag cake arrives as does the massage chair.

At the dinner, Kroy says he wants to take Kim out to learn to shoot guns, once the baby comes. Kim calls herself book smart. Kroy says something about shooting prairie dogs and how their son is going to have a gun when he’s old enough. Kroy gives her the birthday give- a chocolate diamond bracelet worth $22,000. It’s square and ugly as sin- perfect for Kim!

Kim arrives back home and is totally surprised at the party there. Sheree says that NeNe is trying to recruit new friends like Kandi. All of Kim’s friends really like Kroy and he does seem like a nice guy. What’s he doing with Kim then?

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