Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: S02E09: Otherwise Engaged

Lisa is driving around the Hills and talking to the Dick Tracey hat wearing Kyle recapping the Adrienne washing chicken with soap story which Kyle gets a kick out of, rightfully. Now she’s making calls to Taylor too, inviting her to Pandora’s engagement party- except that Taylor’s husband Russell had some sort of falling out with Mohammed who is hosting the party. No problem Taylor will just come without him.

Taylor’s planning a cowboy themed party for her turning 5 year old. She brings $25000 sunglasses Dana along to pick out what is sure to be an outrageously priced cake. She’s having 200 people for the 5 year old party! So a $2000 cake shaped like a standing horse is par for the course. They get a full on wedding cake style tasting.

Estella, Kyle’s mother in law is going in for a facelift. Kyle joins her at the doctor. They go to Dr. Paul, natch, Adrienne’s husband. Is she doing this because he suggested it to her at a party last year (thanks Bravo editing flashback for the reminder)? We see Dr. Paul in action which involves calling Marky Mark Walberg in the middle of the surgery to say that his anesthesiologist looks just like him.

Surgery complete, Mauricio and Kyle go in to see his mom’s results. She looks like a mummy all wrapped up and face covered in mesh gauze. Kyle runs the hell out of there not wanting to see that. She’s freaked out.

Taylor’s chef for the night, Paul, is prepping for her a dinner with Kyle and Mauricio. He’s no Bernie. Russell appearance! Mauricio’s all flirty with Kyle which is awkward since the tabloids printed that Russell and Taylor separated that day. Yet there they sit. He thinks that Lisa spilled the beans to the Us Weekly magazine. Even more awkward! Russell wants to serve a lawsuit to find out who the source is.

We’re at Lisa’s mansion now and the robed Lisa is almost ready for Pandora’s engagement party. Her son Max isn’t answering his phone, will he show up? Uh there he is in his backpack. Kim calls and cancels, says she’s moving out and can’t go. Weird shiny jacket for Pandora’s fiancee. Lisa gives her a $68,000 necklace made from a bracelet she had. Ken gives Jason a $21,000 watch that Lisa had given him for a birthday gift. Off to the party they go!

Mohamed’s house, he’s got live camels walking around the yard, belly dancers at the door, and snake dancers. Taylor is so scared of the snakes that she fails to notice the camel until the last second lololol. There’s a mermaid by the pool, weird- especially out of the water- where’s Tom Hanks? There’s a spraypaint tattoo artist- he hooks Adrienne up as they make their way to the tented ballroom. There’s a band playing Moroccan music as the awkward mermaid awkwardly slides down the bannister.

Kim makes an appearance, she’s on a date with someone name Ken. He’s not he most…ummmh let’s say photogenic of people. She’s been secretly dating him for a year, even Kyle doesn’t know. Why is he wearing a wedding band? Is she wearing one too? What. the. Hell?

Maurico, Paul and Adrienne find the secret room in Mohamed’s house with the gigantic bed. lol. Where’s Kyle on this mission?

Back to the party, Lisa toasts the group and the acrobatic girls do their conrtionist dancing on the table. It’s like a mini- cirque du soleil in there. Kyle joins in the dancing and gets up on the table to do a split. Taylor does a ballet style move holding her leg up in the air. And we’re done for the week……

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