Real Housewives of New Jersey: S03E02: Drop Dead Gorgas

It’s Halloween on the Real Housewives of NJ and everyone’s got a pumpkin. Gia, Melania and the less photogenic kids are all there carving pumpkins. Teresa and Joe recount the craziness of the christening when her brother went nuts on them. Uh no- the Posche fashion show is in two days at the Brownstone and Melissa and Teresa will all be there.

Rule number 2 of RHONJ: watch out because things always go down at the Brownstone.

Cut to the other side of the family with Kathy cooking up a massive meal. Melissa and Joe Gorga come over and tell their side of the christening throwdown. Melissa is definitely holding a grudge from Teresa’s christening party. Joe claims he gave Teresa the Gorga look and she should have known from the look alone to back off. The look alone, T. Nevermind that you approached him from behind at the table. JoeGorga is pissed now and nearly about to hit the Lebanese.

Now at Posche, it’s Kim Not-G (D) as Melissa tries on some outfits and they ask her to be in the fashion show. Apparently everyone in NJ shops at Posche. Kim G shows up! Here comes drama. Kim G heard about the rumble at the christening and is hating on Teresa too for no reason.

Lauren Manzo has own little beauty bar set up in a salon, selling makeup. It actually looks like a pretty classy corner in the salon. Lauren’s doing makeup at the Posche fashion show. This thing is gonna be huge- everyone’s in. Lauren says there will be no drama. I guess she hasn’t talked to Kim G yet and is not aware of rule number 2.

Now it’s RHONJ style trick-or-treating with the Gorgas. Melissa’s costume is cat ears on the leopard skin highlighted coat she probably wears regularly. Back to the Gorgas and Melissa’s in tight catsuit now and Joe’s in a dress with a Snookie poof wig. He kinda looks like Teresa. The Gorgas are all about dressing sexy and going to an adult party. The two Kims show up and off they go in a party bus to a club.

Now over at Teresa’s house and she’s Super T and all about the kids.. She’s got 20 kids coming over. Adriana is dressed as 2 year old gym teacher in a tracksuit lolololol.

Over at the Brownstone, Albert is running shit getting the fashion show ready. Now that Chris left he can’t retire. It’s gonna be tight, they exceeded capacity by 100.

Jacqueline and Teresa are pre-drinking for the fashion show; gold bottle champagne looks fancy.

Teresa walks in to the fashion show and says hi to Melissa who is now pissed that she acted like nothing had happened. Lauren Manzo getting to work doing everyone’s makeup- you go girl. Tensions are running high as everyone sits down to eat before the fashion show and gives nasty staredowns to one another. T is pissed that Kim G is making the rounds and throws a few “she’s old” jabs out there. Come on Teresa- too easy- there’s 1000 other ways to make fun of Kim G.

Time for the fashion show now. Jacqueline, Teresa, and Melissa are all walking the runway. Jacqueline looks extremely uncomfortable walking. Melissa is strutting like a stripper. Teresa gives a very serious catwalk out there. She’s no Gia. Kim G rudely says she wants to boo her. What a bitch.

Kathy takes Teresa aside and asks what’s up. Kathy’s saying T needs to call. T’s saying I didn’t do shit why should I? Caroline tries to play peacemaker a bit but it’s too late as Teresa and Melissa are going at it now. Bolt down the tables, Teresa’s on the loose. Rule number 2 in full effect. Caroline lays down the fucking law and says “not in my house” bitches and sends them all home to fight in their own house. And scene…..

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