Real Housewives of New Jersey: S03E10: There Arose Such a Clatter

It’s Christmas in July for the Real Housewives of New Jersey. These episodes feel seasonally out of place airing now. It’s just weird. Anyway continuing on from last week, all is good at the Gorga party after Melissa kicked the lawyer’s wife out of the party. Teresa wants Kim G gone too but Melissa says she’s harmless, that ain’t happening (did you not watch the previous seasons Melissa? really?)

Teresa and Melissa are dancing together, Joe Gorga is serving up the good wine and all is good- except Kim “G” who is still talking smack since her friend got the boot. Caroline starts in with Kim G, telling her to stop the shit and respect. Caroline is pissed. Chris and Albie step in and give Kim “G” the boot…Kim G has a bodyguard?!!@! Caroline says she came with the intent to hurt and the Manzos aren’t letting her back inside the house. Wait, Kim G has a bodyguard? At a house party?

Kim “G” doesn’t care- she got the airtime that she wanted. Melissa likes the fact that Caroline’s boys stood up for her. Chris is best friends with Kim G’s son and this is getting in the middle of their friendship until he makes a phone call and it’s all cool.

Kathy’s whole family is over including tough looking sister Rosie. Don’t mess with Rosie. Her mother is there (Teresa’s aunt) and she had the same issue with her brother (T’s father) as Teresa and her brother did with the whole not talking thing. Melissa calls and says she’s making two stops for Christmas- Teresa and Joe’s and then to Kathy’s.

Caroline’s back at the Jersey 101.5 radio program. Her friend Dolores shows up, not sure why. I guess she’s the divorce expert or something. Her brother Chris calls in to ask what he can do about his relationship with Ashley whom became his stepdaughter when she was 5. Very touching. I’d say buy her 2 or 3 more cars, that’ll do it.

It’s Christmas Eve at the Guidice house and the entire kitchen is just filled with food cooking. Joe Gorga hasn’t even arrived at Teresa’s and already he’s making his exit plan. Melissa’s even bringing the right type of cookies this year. Joe Guidice looks miserable at his own party. Not as miserable as all the kids in super poofy dresses so big they can’t even walk. That must be a Jersey thing.

Caroline’s cooking for a whole crew- with 10 brothers and sisters and nieces and nephews, anyone can show up. Chris and Albie have a Santa Claus joke bit- you guys should take that on the road. Albert’s working at the Brownstone. Where the hell is super roomate Greg this episode? Greg is the best Real Housewive’s non-housewife or family member on the show except for Jacqueline’s dog Santino.

Christmas seems to be really dragging the hell on in the Real Housewives of New Jersey’s world as it continues next week. Jeez.

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