Real Housewives of New Jersey: S03E11: A Very Jersey Christmas

It’s week 7 or 8 or so of the Real Housewives of New Jersey Christmas spectacular that never ends and now Teresa’s jealous that Kathy invited Joe Gorga over for Christmas Eve. Teresa you are being irrational. It’s just a invitation, not a dig at your- jeez. At least she’s getting along with her brother now.

Huge meal over at the Manzo house. Caroline’s a hot mess. Chris tries to fake out the kids by ringing bells pretending to be Santa’s reindeers but CJ totally busts him- smart 8 year old. Caroline presents the infinity bracelets to her kids.

The Gorga’s take off from the Guidice party and head over to Kathy and Rich’s party. Rosie is there! Rosie is there! Melissa says now she can eat and relax. Good because Kathy made 138 different types of desserts.

There’s a big party at the Brownstone for New Years Eve. Albie calls Rich “Jeff Goldblum”.

Christmas morning and it looks like the Bravo staff has the day off because it’s all home video at Chris and Jacqueline’s house as the kids open their ridiculously awesome gifts. Jacqueline is upset that spoiled brat Ashley has never gotten them anything for Christmas (or Mother’s Day or Birthdays)- to which she says “whatever” in her interview before driving off in her Jeep. No not spoiled at all.

Gorga kids have an impressive amount of gifts, like the whole room is filled with them- no floorspace. Joe Gorga has on his Christmas burglar hat.

The Guidice’s “aren’t spending a lot on gifts” which is still like 20 times more than the average family gets. Joe Giudice can’t even get off the couch to enjoy (or put on a shirt). Joe you’re such a grinch. Lifting his arm above the couch to videotape the celebration behind it while still remaining horizontal- nice move Joe. It’s not about materialistic things this year but where are her diamonds she wants to know.

Things seem calmer and less extravagant at Kathy and Rich’s. Rich shows off his deformed pinky- ugh- weird bend. The kids make a speech before presenting their gifts. The daughter has a whole written out thing to read. It’s a laptop for her business- nice job kids. Very grounded.

Albert takes Caroline to the spot (under the Rt 80 highway overpass) where he proposed to her and stops the car and gets down on one knee and gives her a reset version of her original engagement ring. On his way back around the car he steps over 3 dead bodies and a 2 foot high pile of crack vials.

Melissa’s private recording studio in the basement is all complete and it looks pretty nice actually. Of course she complains that her microphone isn’t blinged enough.

Back at Teresa’s and Gia is throwing up on Christmas much to Joe’s delight (WTF Joe?) He’s going back to bed.

Chris and Albie’s apartment now, they’re talking about some girl. Where’s super roommate and Real Housewives of New Jersey minor character of the year, Greg? All the Manzos are going to see Alexa Joel (Billy Joel’s daughter) and it looks like Albie’s got a crush on here. Her mother is there (Christie Brinkley). Alexa comes over and Albie is noticeably nervous. Thankfully she seems to have taken after her mother in the looks department mostly. Caroline is totally smitten, probably more so than Albie is. Her face just says “score!”. Alexa gets up on stage to sing, she’s not bad.

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