Real Housewives of New Jersey: S03E16: Singing in the Pain

All the Real Housewives of New Jersey will be doing a 5k walk for charity. Teresa shows up at Caroline’s unexpected, telling her about Joe Gorga’s showing up at the book signing and her husband Joe’s threatening texts.

Melania’s birthday is coming up and Teresa is nervous about having the two Joe’s in one spot after their little texting war. Caroline says Melissa is the key to settling this so Teresa calls her up in front of everyone. Teresa and Melissa just start going at it on the phone.

6:30am before the 5K charity run and Kathy and Rich are up and ready to run. Jacqueline and Chris don’t want to run, maybe just walk- plus they don’t even know what the charity is. Teresa’s up and Joe doesn’t want to get out of bed- what else is new? Teresa’s got the runs before the run. Teresa’s pajama pants match her blankets.

Albie and Chris are up, in hoods, but definitely not ready. Super roommate Greg is there and ready to roll, I be he wins it. Joe Giudice is slicing up sausage on the world’s smallest meat slicer at 7 something in the morning (and getting the wine out!). Does Joe have an alcohol problem? He definitely has a being grumpy problem. Teresa has multi-colored spandex and looks like she’s a backup dancer for Color Me Badd or a stand-in for FloJo or something.

Everyone’s at the run and it looks like the entire Housewives cast is 10 minutes late for the race’s start. Teresa’s getting all competitive, the Manzos all cheated including Caroline. It’s for charity!!!! Why are you cheating? What would Radio Host Caroline say about that?

Chris and Albie have and super roommate Greg are having the Gorga’s over. Greg calls Joe Gorga the gorilla of his dreams. Melissa whips out her “On Display” cd so they can hear it. They think it’s good enough that they invite her to perform at their PR launch party for the black water.

Vito and Lauren Manzo are home making some sexy sexy mozzarella cheese, stirring it up all sexy sexy with a wooden paddle. They say it’s just like the movie Ghost except he’s not dead. Also he’s not anywhere near as good looking as Patrick Swayze by anyone’s standards anywhere any time. If Vito came up behind the pottery wheel in the movie Ghost, he would have scared the crap out of the girl and ended the movie right there.

Launch party for the water and Joe Gorga is on super roommate Greg’s shoulders. They have a sort of Spud Webb and Manute Bol thing going on. Greg is the shiznizzle. Give Greg his own show! They don’t show Melissa “on display, on display, on display” though. Did she perform? How did it go?

Milania’s 5th birthday party and she’s battling with Teresa over her dress for the party. This party is significantly less extravagant than the previous ones- it’s a pizza party at Joe’s pizzeria. Teresa’s running late, what else is new? Now everyone is there and the kids are screaming “we want pizza” as they wait for the Gorga clan to show up. They make Teresa look early.

The kids are all making little pizza with little tiny rollers- very cute. It actually looks like a normal birthday party for a kid unlike her over the top ones we’ve seen in past seasons. Teresa’s got a pizza birthday cake for Milania.

And Gia has a song for her little sister- honestly it’s better than half the Housewive’s songs. It’s no On Display though. Now she has a surprise song for Teresa and her brother and she breaks up crying two words in. Her lyrics show she’s hurting from this feud, and that she’s a better lyricist than Melissa. Will Gia’s sobbing get the two Joe’s back on speaking terms?

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