Real Housewives of New Jersey: S03E17: Get to the Punta!

The Real Housewives of New Jersey are getting ready for their big trip to the Dominican Republic. It’s Melissa’s idea to go to Punta Cana. What’s probably not her idea is Joe Gorga sniffing her panties and packing the kids into a suitcase.

Teresa has a suitcase just for bathing suits. She’s still worried about the two Joe’s getting along. Caroline’s packing too. She’s telling Lauren not to wear too much shining jewelry because of sharks. Slightly irrational but hey. Jacqueline is packing a bikini she won’t even wear- it’s cute and just to show the girls. Ashley isn’t coming because she didn’t want to get a passport in time. Too busy whining about her spoiled life to get her picture taken I’m sure.

And they’re off to Punta Cana. Let’s see if you can take the Jersey out of Jersey.

THere’s an impressive amount of animal skinned luggage. Teresa’s bag for her jewelry is lost- at least she has 9 other ones.

Joe Giudice has the cab driver pull over so he can pee on the side of the road. Rich, Albie and half the men decide to join him on the side of the road too. Stay classy Jersey.

They’re staying at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino. They have 3 villas. They’re pretty pimping actually, oceanfront and all. Super roommate Greg shows up!!!!!! Lauren is a little upset that he might get in-between her and her brothers this trip, or so Caroline implies.

Maybe it’s the warm ocean air but everyone’s getting along. Maybe it’s the endlessly flowing glasses of champagne.

Greg, Chris, Albie and Lauren want to take everyone out on a catamaran. Caroline’s got a migraine already. Teresa’s got a series of tiny bikinis that look like stripper outfits. Greg’s ready for Melissa Gorga’s suit.

Rich and Joe Gorga are getting massages on the balcony and we’re seeing just a little too much Gorga ass crack (any amount is too much, btw). Caroline’s skipping the boat due to the headache.

Everyone else is ready for their 3 hour tour, 3 hour tour. Melissa and Teresa are both doing waterside posedown photo shoots. Of course the Gorga’s are wearing hats. Chris and Albie get the drinking games going and everyone’s having a great time.

Joe Giudice is doing pushups with Greg and then Jacqueline on his back- kind of impressive actually. Unfortunately it means more shots of Joe shirtless but still, impressive.

Joe and Teresa are talking about opening a restaurant featuring Teresa’s recipes. Teresa starts in with Kathy after Kathy stands up for herself and says it’s not all about you Teresa. They bring it back to the Christening fight. Teresa’s blowing everything out of proportion, acting irrationally and selfish- so nothing new.

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