Survivor Redemption Island: ep04: Don’t You Work for Me?


Episode 4 begins with Matt just about shitting his pants on Redemption Island upon seeing Russell. It seems like loads in your underpants will be the theme tonight as it cuts over to Special Agent Phillip waking everyone up by sweeping the camp in his “saggy bottom panties” which CBS has to blur. Thank you CBS censors. Seriously, thank you. The girls look like they are about to vomit. Now he’s in dress shoes too, spear hunting crabs.

At Zapatera, Russell’s girls are bummed about losing him but keep “busy” sunning themselves. Brillo Pad reveals to everyone that he found the Idol. The team is still scared of Russell coming back, thinking they’re gonna save the Idol for that just in case. They’d probably be scared of him if they were sitting on their couch and he was on TV.

The Redemption Island challenge is basically dominoes on a bridge with tripwires that knock em down early. Matt sets them up and takes the first shot and his blocks don’t all fall, same with Russell’s first shot. Matt wins it on his second shot sending Russell home in tears. You gotta kinda feel bad for him- he loves the game. Brillo Pad reveals to Russell and thus to Secret Agent Undies that he has the Idol and Russell then goes off in anger and tells them who the Zap alliances are.

At Ometepe, Boston Rob invents a game for his tribe to keep them in one spot, tells them he has bathroom issues and then takes off running to find the hidden Idol. The ol’ gotta poop and I’m stuffed up trick- I use that one all the time to check my email on the iPhone in private. He checks every tree and bingo- he finds the Idol and his team is none the wiser.

Agent Granny Panties decides to withhold the names he’s “found” at the Redemption challenge to his tribe to use at a later date. He tries to tell Rob and Grant they need to keep Kristina in order to get the intel he’s found. Which works against him because now Rob thinks he’s not on his side, so Agent Phillip is next on the hit list.

For the challenge the teams have to use their (product placement alert!) Craftsman tools to complete a series of tasks to win a barbecue set including food. Grant is hands down the best shoveler in Survivor history and I’m including that guy James who was a gravedigger. Secret Agent Saggy Bottoms is a slow sawer and Brillo Pad and Zapatera take advantage to win Immunity and reward.

Over at losing tribe Ometepe, Phillip gives another speech and pisses everyone off because they find him generally annoying. But Kristina starts talking about the Idol which puts her on Rob’s hit list because she’s thinking about the game and not being one of his sheep. Rob is running the whole show and everyone knows it and nobody cares. The vote will be split between Kristina and Undies.

In the end Kristina is sent packing, the Tribe has spoken-they are willing to put up with the horrors of Very Special Agent Phil’s exposed family jewels for a few more days to make the team stronger (like the saying goes: what doesn’t kill your eyesight only makes you stronger). CBS’s censors appreciate the extra overtime work too, thanks.

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